Answer & Explanation:Download the Editing Revisions Worksheet.Step 2: Download the rubric to better understand how you will be graded.Step 3: Read Chapter 17 to understand how to improve your writing style.Step 4: Complete the Editing Revisions Worksheet by revising the sentences
chapter_17___editing_revisions___version_a.docx
Unformatted Attachment Preview
Chapter 17 – Editing Revisions
Conciseness (Abstract Words)
Make the following sentences more concise by replacing abstract nouns with
verbs. Other minor changes in wording may be necessary.
1. Verification of the agreement was indicated by the signing of the contract by
members of the M-Global corporate staff.
New Sentence:
2. The inspectors indicated that observation of the site occurred on July 16,
2005.
New Sentence:
3. Negotiation of the final contract was to happen on the day after their arrival.
New Sentence:
4. After three hours of discussion, the branch managers agreed that
establishment of a new M-Global mission statement should take place in the
next fiscal year.
New Sentence:
5. Assessment of the firm’s progress will happen during the annual meeting of
the M-Global Board of Directors.
New Sentence:
Conciseness (Wordy Phrases and Long Words)
Condense the following sentences by replacing long phrases and words with
shorter substitutes.
1. In the final analysis, we decided to place the new pumping station in
proximity to the old one.
New Sentence:
2. Prior to commencing the project, they met to prioritize their objectives.
New Sentence:
3. Endeavoring to complete the study on time, Sheila transported the supplies
immediately from the field location to the M-Global lab.
New Sentence:
4. During the course of his career, he planned to utilize the experience he had
gained in the ambulance business.
New Sentence:
5. His work with the firm terminated due to the fact that he took a job with
another, competing firm.
New Sentence:
Conciseness: Clichés and There Are/It Is Constructions
Rewrite the following sentences by eliminating clichés and the wordy
constructions “there are” and “it is.”
1. They all agreed that the issue had been discussed repeatedly for the past 10
years; thus they did not want to reinvent the wheel during the current study.
New Sentence:
2. There are many examples of skyrocketing equipment costs affecting the final
budget for a project.
New Sentence:
3. It is a fact that most employees at M-Global believe the company has taken a
step in the right direction by adding international offices.
New Sentence:
4. Needless to say, it is clear that Karen is looking forward to the three-week
vacation.
New Sentence:
5. She explained to her staff that it was as plain as day that they would have to
decrease their labor costs.
New Sentence:
Sentence Clarity
Improve the clarity of the following sentences by changing sentence structures or
by splitting long sentences into several shorter ones.
1. Therefore, to collect a sample from above the water table, and thus to follow
the directions provided by the client, the initial boring was abandoned and the
drill rig was repositioned about two feet away and a new boring was drilled.
New Sentence(s):
2. After capping the soil sample ring with PVC end caps and then notifying all
members of the project team, we placed it in a cooler for storage on-site and
transportation later to a chemical analytical laboratory.
New Sentence(s):
3. Based on the geotechnical data obtained from the subsurface exploration
program, the results of the percolation testing, and the planned plumbing
fixtures, the feasibility of installing a leachfield-type on-site sewage-disposal
system was evaluated.
New Sentence(s):
4. Percolation test #1 was performed approximately 40 feet east of the existing
pump house and percolation test #2 was performed near the base of the
slope approximately 65 feet west of the pump house, and then the results
were submitted to the builder.
New Sentence(s):
5. We appreciate the opportunity to provide our services on this project and look
forward to continuing our relationship with XYZ Trading and Transportation
Company when we begin the Zanter Project with your Finance Department
next spring.
New Sentence(s):
Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs
Make changes in active- and passive-voice verbs, where appropriate. Refer to
the guidelines in Chapter 17.
1. It was recommended by the personnel committee that you consider changing
the requirements for promotion.
New Sentence:
2. No formal report about assets was reported by the corporation before it
announced the merger.
New Sentence:
3. The graphs showing the differences in depreciation and interest and the net
loss on the investment are shown in Appendix A.
New Sentence:
4. It has been noted by the Department of Environmental Services that the
laundry business was storing toxic chemicals in an unsafe location.
New Sentence:
5. The samples from the Scottish Highlands will be sent to M-Global’s
engineering lab in London.
New Sentence:
Biased Language
Revise the following sentences to eliminate biased language.
1. The company decided to create a more diverse workforce by encouraged the
disabled to apply for the management training program.
New Sentence:
2. Although each manager was responsible for his own budget, some managers
obviously had better accounting skills than others.
New Sentence:
3. The company policy manual states that each secretary should submit her
time card twice a month.
New Sentence:
4. All Hispanic employees are encouraged to attend the workshop about legal
requirements for immigrants.
New Sentence:
5. Each flight attendant is required to meet special work standards as long as
she is employed by an international airline.
New Sentence:
Plain English Style
Revise the following sentences by applying all the guidelines mentioned in
Chapter 17. When you change passive verbs to active, it may be necessary to
make some assumptions about the agent of the action, because the sentences
are taken out of context.
1. Based on our review of the available records, conversations with the various
agencies involved, including the Fire Department and the Police Department,
and a thorough survey of the site where the spill occurred, it was determined
that the site contained chemicals that were hazardous to human health.
New Sentences:
2. After seven hours at the negotiation table, the union representatives and
management decided that the issues they were discussing could not be
resolved that evening, so they met the next day at the hotel complex, at which
point they agreed on a new contract that would increase job security and
benefits.
New Sentences:
3. It is recommended by us that your mainframe computer system be replaced
immediately by a newer, more up-to-date model.
New Sentences:
4. After the study was completed by the research team and the results were
published in the company newsletter the following month, the president
decided to call a meeting of all senior-level managers to discuss strategies for
addressing problems highlighted by the research team.
New Sentences:
5. Our project activities can be generally described in this way. The samples
were retrieved from the site and then were transported to the testing lab in the
containers made especially for this project, and at the lab they were tested to
determine their soil properties; the data were analyzed by all the members of
the team before findings and conclusions were arrived at.
New Sentences:
…
Purchase answer to see full
attachment
Order a plagiarism free paper now. We do not use AI. Use the code SAVE15 to get a 15% Discount
Looking for help with your ASSIGNMENT? Our paper writing service can help you achieve higher grades and meet your deadlines.
Why order from us
We offer plagiarism-free content
We don’t use AI
Confidentiality is guaranteed
We guarantee A+ quality
We offer unlimited revisions